Perfection

Monday, April 24, 2006

You know those niggling details that you dismiss when you’re getting to know a new person? Those very details get greatly magnified with time. They won’t go away. How do you deal with them?

praveenkumarg — Apr 24, 2006 1:35:56 AM — # ↩

You dont... They are just part of learning as you go along.
If you dont learn then maybe you dont really want to know the person.
suku — Apr 24, 2006 3:16:49 AM — # ↩

Imho:
I don't think if this thought has entered a person's mind, he is really dismissing them. Even though he's aware, he is consciously trying to shove them under the carpet. Prolly the new person is worth such luxury and acceptance.
- kingsly — Apr 24, 2006 11:15:47 AM — # ↩
  
  Re: Imho:
  Agreed,
  
  I find that the only reason they get high-lighted later is because something else changed.
  And not those reasons themselves.
charlesj — Apr 24, 2006 5:33:01 AM — # ↩

You weigh those details against the very same reasons you decided to ignore them.
- notanangel78 — Apr 24, 2006 7:12:33 AM — # ↩
  
  That is such sensible advice. Often i'm so thrilled with the new person, I ignore a lot of things that graduate to huge issues later.
  - themadman — Apr 24, 2006 12:12:40 PM — # ↩
    
    That is because we *want* to overlook them. The human mind's capacity for seeing exactly what it wants to see must never be underestimated.
- arucard2 — Apr 24, 2006 9:56:06 AM — # ↩
  
  Nice one and very true.
tsk1979 — Apr 24, 2006 7:25:21 AM — # ↩

Dont Ignore them. You will only destroy your peace of mind. And be honest about those details, it helps.
lawgon — Apr 24, 2006 8:01:23 AM — # ↩

the process for me is the opposite - i find that the people i wind up liking a lot are just the ones who irritate/antagonise me or, more to the point, are irritated and antagonised by me at the start.
azooey — Apr 24, 2006 8:33:36 AM — # ↩

For very similar reasons, love is supposed to be blind.
- arucard2 — Apr 24, 2006 9:53:51 AM — # ↩
  
  Love isn't blind. People in love adapt themselves to the partner's tastes. It is a mind trick (dark side surely) which makes you believe that you are doing the right thing. :)
  - themadman — Apr 24, 2006 12:17:32 PM — # ↩
    
    And three years later, when the mask drops, suddenly things aren't so rosy any more. :)
frozenaftermath — Apr 24, 2006 10:03:55 AM — # ↩

At some point it will become the largest white elephant in the room. Strip it naked of its clothes at that time and bring it out into the open.
mujib — Apr 24, 2006 12:08:34 PM — # ↩

Flip channels and hang on, for the sake of the kid.

Or so says the wife.
- patrodz — Apr 24, 2006 1:06:41 PM — # ↩
  
  :-))
- jessyleen — Apr 24, 2006 1:33:21 PM — # ↩
  
  agree!
- noelladsa — Apr 24, 2006 3:37:42 PM — # ↩
  
  wonder if the kids would appreciate that later on.
  - mujib — Apr 24, 2006 4:04:07 PM — # ↩
    
    The kid hates it when her channel gets flipped.
    - noelladsa — Apr 24, 2006 4:44:12 PM — # ↩
      
      lol I'm sure she does.
themadman — Apr 24, 2006 12:16:26 PM — # ↩

Well, don't ignore them.

We all have flaws, and we all have certain traits we find compatible or incompatible in others. It's up to you to decide if these problems are a "deal breaker" and you can't really get along with that other person.
latelyontime — Apr 24, 2006 12:19:37 PM — # ↩

Hopefully, the things that you find refreshing and thrilling in the first times also magnify proportionately. The best thing to do, in my completely skewered opinion, is to ask for yourself whether these details change the love, respect and affection you have for the person. If they are huge, talk to them about it. If they are not, let them be - and do not try to change - and they will naturalise and fade out.

I am suddenly wondering too many things.
meghadutam — Apr 24, 2006 12:28:55 PM — # ↩

They get worse. They do.
- enigmaticash — Apr 24, 2006 8:03:06 PM — # ↩
  
  i agree with u. and after some time u feel very suffocated/ cannot put on with the person types. you loose ur peace of mind, you loose confidence in urself u are hurt other person is hurt ppl who care for u are hurt :) so be wise while u are decidng some thing. don't burn ur fingers n then realoe :)
vijucat — May 10, 2006 1:08:37 PM — # ↩

err, organize a BLUG meet?

Sorry, couldn't resist that!!! :-))